The instant I walked out of my last intro jazz class, I was engulfed by the exuberant beats of a marching band. The timing was so impeccable, I momentarily wondered if I conjured them up myself. They were, of course, my city’s own anarchist marching band, The Flaming Trolleys, taking advantage of a beautiful Spring evening by criss-crossing the downtown streets. As they passed, a marcher’s hula hoop pushed through and above the drums and dreads, a circular blur of colour riding each musical crescendo. It was all quite strange and delightful. I was intent on interpreting this musical greeting as The Universe congratulating me on making it through 10 months of sometimes excruciating dance class, until, not 5 minutes later, some dude gave me the finger. Ah, well, sometimes a marching band is just a marching band.
While tonight was my official last Wednesday of classes, I still have two dress rehearsals and the show left this week before I can say that I have accomplished this crazy goal of mine. It has been part of my zany, right-brained approached to living healthy with Lupus physically and emotionally. When I made this goal, I said the following to myself:
Do something that scares you and is outside of your comfort zone.
Do something on your own and meet new people.
Try a different artistic art form.
Take ownership of your body as something other than a weak and sickly burden.
Seize these pain-free moments and MOVE.
So, here I am, 10 months later, mere days away from my end performance. My nerves are causing all sorts of problems in rehearsal, pushing me deeper and deeper into my head instead of my body as I try to keep all the dance moves straight. My instructor says he can tell that I’m physically stronger than I was in September, which I can definitely feel. The increments of strength aren’t huge, but just knowing that there was visible progress has made this journey worth it.
So, I’m kind of strong, sort of, and I’ll be dancing my black and gold, glam rock butt off this weekend for strangers and my best keepers. New goals are on the horizon, but let’s get through this craziness first!