I felt sick tonight.  Pain gripped the left side of my head, its heavy hand pulling me down into dizzying, nauseous fatigue.  I didn’t want to eat, though my body was telling me I needed to. Napping didn’t entirely work, so I sprawled across my couch, face down, pulling at my hair in an attempt to “stretch out the pain.”  I wanted to call my mom.  I wanted her to kiss my forehead and make me soup while I convalesced beneath my fuzzy blanket.  For a good, solid two minutes that’s all I wanted, until I looked up from my phone and shook my head in disbelief.  These “mini-flare” symptoms have been part of my Lupus life for as long as I can remember.  I know the drill.  I know what to do.

God, being this pain-free has really wussed me out.

I put down the phone and I stepped into a hot shower, where I massaged my head and stretched out my stiff body.  After additional rest, I forced myself to make something appetizing and healthy to eat and then I forced myself to eat it.  I still feel a bit nauseous, but since deciding not to let my pain be my focal point, I feel much better.  My fellow Lupie and lovely “sister keeper” from down South articulated this skill perfectly – “She had discovered and mastered the art of not puking.”  For those of you who are curious, severe cases usually require staying still and an iron will.

I have just finished my first day at the “Lupus Day Hospital;” three days of sessions with health professionals like occupational therapists, physiotherapists and dieticians.  Once I have the energy, I promise to blog about it.  Also, upon the advice of a fellow blogger, I have decided to add “tags” to my postings as a way for my readers to easily find posts about topics of interest.  You will see my “tag cloud” on the right.  Just click on a topic and it will show you a list of relevant posts. I was only able to get through September and half of October’s postings.  Tonight is not the night to finish the task.

So, with that dear friends, I leave you.  I’m increasingly aware that the longer I stay on this computer, the more probable that my “puke barrier” will go to shit.  Tonight’s battle is not entirely won.  Time to sleep.

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