Gas Jockey by Night, The Decider by…

Dead of winter.  Cheese grater clouds skip against a black and blue sky.  I can see the moon.  It’s barely 6 o’clock.  I watch the numbers on the digitized gas spewer as I bounce up and down beside my car.  It’s frickin’ cold.  The thing is, I don’t mind, not today.  The prairie wind-chill is lessened by the fact that today ,”Elena The Decider” (previously of the undeciding kind) surprised everyone with a spontaneous bout of deciding after a decidedly dry spell of, well, not deciding.  “Elena The Decider” is a rare species, endangered even, so when she pops her head out of the sand, I am naturally happy to see her.   

Every flare-up is a wake-up call.  This last one was loud and clear – something’s gotta change, baby, or something’s gonna give… and next time it’ll be for good.    

The handle on the gas spout finally clicks and I scurry into the adjacent hut to pay the cashier.  As I approach the plastic partition between us, a blast of hot air from a small heater hits my face.  I smile at the momentary reprieve from the cold and at the fact that Elena The Decider has made her proclamation:  After almost 6 months off work, I will not be going back to work full-time, but will commit to at least a year of half-time work in order to respect my body/mind’s process of healing and to explore passions in my life that I had long forgotten.  

It’s an experiment and for once, it’s a real lifestyle change.

 And now… a cup of steaming hot tea.

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