BUZZ-ZING

My head is ablaze with a swarm of incessant fuzz.  Buzz buzz buzz.  I’m starting to think it’s a permanent part of my new biology.  

I can see my veins through my skin.  Thinning of the skin is a side effect of one of my meds… I can’t remember which.  I am see-through.  Transparent.   That’s okay.  I feel like that sometimes anyway.  

The body never lies to you… even when you ignore it and treat it like crap, it will never lie.  I get Lupus messages all the time, that stuff doesn’t surprise me.  It’s when you get the zings and zaps that go right through you, from some untraceable pit of your “stomach” to that part of your “heart” you keep tucked away under piles and piles of blankets and all that other crap you think will protect you – that surprises me.  It only lasts for a second and is usually triggered by a sight or a sound, a person, a memory or even a word.  In response, the body will give you the wake up call no one else is brave enough or insightful enough to tell you:  “You’re not over it, baby.”  Zing.

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